Self-care

Selfcare is difficult for me, I kind of suck at it.
I know that certain things just have to be done, because that is how it is. Eating, drinking, going to the toilet, shower, brushing teeth and taking a rest/sleep. Those are kind of the basics, I guess. Let's have a list. 

- Eating - I do because I have to. I rarely eat because I'm hungry, more often I do because it is 'time to eat'. I have not had lunch in years, so I usually just eat breakfast and dinner. I make a meal plan for dinners and (try to) stick to it. If I did not have a partner who likes variation, I would easily eat the same stuff every week. 
- Drink - I don't get enough fluids. I know this. I have five 'drinking moments' in my day planner, but only have two drinks per day (if at home). I skip the others, because I forget and I seriously do not feel thirsty. I do, however, drink a glass of water during appointments out of the house. I guess I do because that is what I am 'supposed to'. :) 
- Going the toilet - Often forget this too. I don't feel the urge to go, until my stomach is seriously hurts and I realise that I have not 'been' all day.
- Showers - Absolutely crap. Hate with a passion. When I was on Risperdal, I did not shower for a week (!!), just because I did not care. When not on meds, I shower twice (or sometimes three times) per week. I hate everything about it. The water on my skin (or worse: on my scalp), the difference between the warm water and the cold air, the towel (and itchy skin) afterwards... AWFUL! I have made a change that kind of helps, though: I have changed my shower-towels to muslin cloth. It's not as sore and it makes the whole thing less traumatic. 
- Brushing teeth - Nope. I hate the feeling of the toothbrush on my gums, using (soft)picks makes my whole body uncomfortable and toothpaste often tastes gross. So I'm slowly finding solutions. A mega-soft toothbrush and 'tasty' toothpaste (as a 'reward' after a long day) make it less stressful, but I'm not sure about the picks. I have an appointment at the hygienist soon, so hopefully she has some good ideas. 
- Sleep/rest - Sigh. I know I need an hour of 'chill out time' every afternoon, but I skip it out of stubbornness. That makes me over stimulated, which in turn makes my sleep at night less efficient. That then makes that I wake up tired and half wound-up already. I need to learn how to chill out better, in order to not get another burn-out.

Self-care is not my strong suit. At all. :D